omgomgomgomgomgomgomgomgomg I hope I get this job. Ok, so, I got this job opportunity where I will relocate to Burlington VT and work as a LC/MS tech as an analytical chemist. Basically, everything I have ever dreamed to do in a lab dealing with drug metabolism. I just did up my CV and I am gonna go interview clothes shopping after I hear back from the professor. omg so excited!!!
Hmmm. You know when you hit one of those moments in your life that evokes a great change, or rather a shift in your social sphere? I think I've hit one again, and not too long after the last one. There have been some constants over the years: Ryan, Alli, and Morgan among them. However, I feel that as much as I try to keep Morgan around, that because I am out of sight, I am out of mind. She has a new friend circle now, all of whom I had been really close to last semester, but because of complications that I don't care to name, next to a completely opposite class schedule, I never see her. I do text her and call her, but she doesn't really return the thought. She's forgetful and I understand, it's just tiring. I have begun to shift back to an older crowd, and I feel myself longing for something that I can't seem to place. I feel... restless. I guess it's about time I graduate and move out to find my own answers. Hopefully, the few constants in my life will remain.
Things that I learned today:
My love interest isn't ready for anything committed right now, but she likes me. I can still flirt, right? haha
I don't think I could commit to a relationship right now even if she was interested.
Velociraptor Roulette.
I have a healthy obsession with chemicals.
I am an adult.
It's me who makes me happy, not other people.
The Pope has a YouTube channel
That I missed Sarah (old chemistry buddy) more than I thought I did. I saw her today, it was nice.
so.... I don't know how I am going to afford the books I need for inorganic, not to mention that I need to buy lab notebooks / class notebooks / pens. I still haven't heard from Hess :'(. I really, really need to be hired. I need this job.
I need a job. This is ridiculous, I apply everywhere that I can around me, and even the place that said that they were hiring won't hire me.I can't afford to pay for gas to get to school; I am negative in my bank account. I don't know what to do anymore. I need to get a car. Plain and simple, but I won't be able to get a loan, because personal loans are now hard to get (thank you Bush administration). My last resort is working for Hess, but I have this feeling that they might not even hire me :(. I have to apply for over night positions.... which means, I get no sleep or time to do anything. This blows.
Amazing. I emailed CatsX3 to get their lyrics. I decided to post them:
Fight fight with fight
The loneliness seeps in the car
The same one that’s in her eyes
As she sucks on a cigarette you left her
Back when venus fly traps lined her floor
She’s no spider but it might make a nice metaphor
He clumsily opens his mouth
And slurs what he tumbles out
Well no one could miss such a waste of breathing
“My sweet girl you’ve come back home to me”
“My sweet boy, you’ll sleep in the sea”
(backing vocals on verse) Silently
Are you watching him sleep
Bending spires for him
All for what he did
With the skeletons
We’ll hide in the woodsheds
And lie in wait for what?
What do we lie in wait for?
Sweet Molly
Your father screams
“Where have you been?”
What if the stars fell in the sea around your feet
Would you still be gone?
And some say I brought her to life
To deliver a silent knife
Which now sits comfortably between his skin
Death is creeping through the chandeliers
With a crumpled smile she disappears
(Chorus)
Just when you thought it was o
Where you lie
Has anybody said you’ve got the saddest eyes?
Just don’t breathe
Has anybody said you’ve got the biggest teeth?
Where have you been?
What if the sadness in the world fell at your feet
Would this still be wrong?
Just when you thought it was ok
Your were right
You were wrong
Kites
Who lies sunk in the dust?
Scrawling poetry to the stars above the Earth
Home lies somewhere you lost
In the arms of trees
Where you’d sing with me
Florence lights the sky with kites and kites and kites and kites…..
Carrying the hospitals across the big blue sea
Who lies here in the north
Reading poetry from the stars above the Earth
Home lies there in your arms
Hold those notes for me
My Splutterheart
All I hear is the drums
But your fragile song still lingers on
Florence lights the sky with kites, the world tears them down
And when you woke up we were on the ground
Through these flooded eyes my sorrow meets this song
And when I woke up I knew you’d gone
Hotel at the end of youth
Clouds across your sleeping face
Where do we go when we escape
Well there are lots of things that no one knows
And all I said was “damn this is frightening”
And all I did was think about everything
Weeds grow around your clock face
They hold your hands like distant friends
And in the depths of caverns turn the cogs of the Earth
(Chorus)
Behind these eyes is a field in an open sky
Where your mother lies with your father inside her arms
You are the air in the words in between her hair
At the same time you’re the sunset that leaves the night
(Backing vocals) Give up your quiet crusades
Let sleepy hearts find you
Clouds across your sleeping face
They watch the Earth settle on your skin
And from the sprouts of fingertips the world starts again
And all it reads is here lies the dust and sand
And all I did was sleep with clouds in my head
We’re all in this tonight
Brilliant the Brilli Ant
Find yourself at ease
Push your feet in the ground like you were trees
And fill your broken mouth up with sound
Songwaves and arcs
When you were sixteen were you pining for cones
Mining for keys and burning apple cores, semaphore
Fortune and flies?
While you cry I’ll cut your hair
And thread your fingers through my own
Leaves and twigs and vines
Will cover your arms and legs and eyes
And place you quietly cradled
In the arms of the Earth
Through chaotic claps of thunder
You have found yourself sleeping
Open wide, push your wings through
This garden green skin
Darkness made of steam
Will crawl from your mouth into the sea
And take whatever got into you
Back to the deep
Find yourself at ease
Push your feet in the ground like you were trees
And let your heartbeat slow
As the tide ebbs and it flows
Anchoress
Anchoress
Let’s get dressed and forget this ever happened
What a mess
And your eyelids have started to run
Lina I cannot forget
Your father will see red
Your husband cannot know
He’ll bring us our deaths
On some different stage
In a terrible shame
Father and husband would both find a grave
He’s holding your hair like strings
This puppeteer’s secret wings
Lioness
We are waiting in ballrooms and banquets
For one glance
For the slightest sleight of your skin
Aiko brilliant and bright
We’ll escape this tonight
I cannot I am loyal with fright
They’re dressed in our clothes
Tied up in the snow
When they’re found
We’ll be nowhere they know
He’s holding your hair like strings
This puppeteer’s secret wings
But what if these scissors slip
Could you cut them all to bits?
Anchoress?
Sweet drunk everyone
Eyes open to woes
The cawing of kids like ghosts
Creeps over me
The fingers through hair
The trickle of tiny tears
The cracks in our speech
And there in your room
She changes your life with tubes
And gargles and glee
In front of these eyes
Of tired and aching hearts
Where she could have been
In the sea tides hold me
On the air wings fold around me
A lion a lamb
A song that brings breathing back
To colourless lips
You need to be red
And belong to a mouth that moves
And touches your head
Which covers your brain
Which translates the sounds he make
To words that you keep
Wrote down in verse
Under the place you sleep lightly
Where he used to be
(Chorus)
There in your womb
There is a child that blooms into a tree
A stretch of an arm
Your voice keeps me safe from harm
A girl in the sea
I watched as she swam further away from land
Onto the breeze
There on the sand an imprint of someone’s hand
Mine fits perfectly
Tower Tower
We are your captive audience
Harbouring truths we confess
Only to damp, dark sins
And oh we’re so open handed
We command the English language
To paint your mountain face
There’s lights in the sky above us
Your chorus of clouds and rusted violins
Haunts like little endings
Waiting for you there
If you should cower
Do you think you are the spider
Do you think these hands are bound together
In this web of words
But atop the highest snow peak
This tower of tower’s cogs squeak
Making your blood turn grey
(Chorus)
And she sits atop the tower
Your warring of words gets smashed into bits
Haunts like little engines
Waiting for you there
If you should cower
I am your tower tower
I’ll be your outer shell
I watch your thoughts
Crumble through your teeth
Sharp and white
Inside dark sheets
Lies one fierce girl
Filled with bees and fire
How her black eyes look like mine
When my mouth runs out of stories
And these eyelids slide
Build me a stone tower
Where my boy can lie soundlessly
Nope, no date for me today. She never responded to me. I called her for directions and to confirm our plans, cause I'd be damned if I got out there and she didn't pick up then. So, I am through with that, no one wants to chase that hard after someone. I called Brett today, left her a voicemail being all like, "hey, I was busy cause of finals, and we should hang out if you've got some free time. ttyl!lololol" so hopefully that goes somewhere. One question tho, why do girls from Maine like me?
So...
It's snowing outside. Look at the snow! Wow!
Got most of my project done. Just have to weight for my professor to email me back with his comments and then touch it up for Monday.
School was canceled today, the day when I don't have to be there, ><
I have another date with Corri tomorrow, depending on my acquisition of a vehicle. Damn the Holidays for being so close! If I can get to her, what will we do? ::wink::
I have two more hours to transcribe for money. Yay.
Taxes were done, finally.
I am gonna get my period soon, hopefully not today or tomorrow
I got my xmas shopping done and spent a reasonable amount of dough.
Hung out with Alli twice this week!
I love Ryan.
I am going to miss Morgan, but I will see her for New Years?
Liz lives down the street basically. So I'll be entertained.
Kim got back to me about the RA thing. She knows where the app is and it will be reviewed before any new candidates. However, they need to exhaust the alternate pool before I can be considered. I am going to start job hunting pronto (tomorrow during the day).
I need to get a car. Any ideas for a cheap but reliable one?
I had an awesome time hanging out with Brett this past Saturday. So, I can't wait until we can repeat that. I also got in contact with that other girl I went out on a date with, turns out something bad happened, I don't know what, but she hasn't really been with it, which is unfortunate. I don't really like how she never responds to anything, but I suppose I will just have to accept it. I don't know if Maggie is still interested in hanging out this week. She never responds to my IM's which is retarded. ::shrugs:: Well, I am off to get paid for all of my hard work so far.
Oh, and I need to get a job this vacation, and I mean I need to. I don't think the RA thing is goign to work out, since Kieth never turned in my application and now it's too late for me to get my recommendations because it's finals week. Ugh, such bullshit. But I have better things in the works.

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on smoke on the water